Tuesday, August 7, 2012


It had been a week since they'd last spoken. Kirk didn't know what to do his mind was playing tricks on him. He would hear someone's voice and think it was Kate. He would see someone walking away and he'd think it was her. It made no matter because he had allowed himself to falter he had failed himself and thus he was unable to find out the truth.

Kirk continued at his tasks like a zombie. Work was a trial and he was failing dying under the weight of his indecision. The incessant grinding of his thoughts tearing his soul apart. He questioned everything he had done. He questioned everything he said and thought. His mind was turmoil, yet he was numb to everything else. His heart would burn with nervous regret and his mind would ache with the question. It was inseparable from his reality. No matter how hard he tried it was always there nagging and tearing.

A simple question that even children have mastered was the question Kirk could not, and would not ask. How should he do it? A text, a phone call, in person, in private, or where or how? It nagged at him and tore at his insides like a cancer. Spreading to everything. Food was tasteless and his initiative was nil.

Soon, Kirk was questioning everything he did around her. He was questioning looking at Kate, smiling at her. He didn't know how to act he didn't know how to react. He was lost in his mind and everything had become estranged. But it didn't matter because Kirk had managed another chance. Kate was going to meet him for lunch at this burger place down the road from the coffee shop they had met.

Kirk got there early. He was always early. He couldn't help it, because this was his preoccupation. Kate walked through the door like a whirlwind. She stopped his heart and dropped his jaw like electric shock. Her foot steps were like dancers and a simple glance from her could start a fire. She sat opposite him and lazily resting on her elbow. She eyed him like he was an alien. He then realized he was staring. His eyes awoke as if from a dream and met hers.

"So, what'cha in the mood for? I hear that the cheeseburgers here are pretty good." Kirk tried to sound smart or caring or anything but as desperate and nervous as he felt.

"Um, I dunno..." she looked at the menu and drew out her words as if in thought. He loved the way she bit her lip as she read the options.

"I think I'll be going with the number seven. It has jalapenos on it. I love jalapenos." he laughed... it wasn't a joke and he laughed. He was drowning.

"Oh, I think I'll go with the number 4. I like simple cheeseburgers. None of that triple, double, extra cheese, special sauce with a salad on top monstrosities." she looked at him with a knowing smirk on his lips.

#7 The Jalapeno Explosion Burger - Double patties, extra bacon, 
special sauce, extra cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickles, jalapenos, 
and onion.

"Yeah those monstrosities are disgusting."

After several minutes their burgers arrive.

The waitress placed what could only be describe as a heaping pile of protein and arterial clotting death with a side of fries. In front of Kate was placed a small cheeseburger without any additives. Kate burst out laughing the moment the waitress stepped away. Kirk couldn't help himself and laughed as well.

"I suppose if I ever had to eat a monstrosity it'd have to be to protect you from certain danger at the hand of a burger monster." he laughed and stabbed his fork into the burger dramatically. The ice was finally broken. He felt in control again.

They were walking out of the burger place and Kirk looked at Kate. She looked back at him. He wanted to kiss her so badly. He wanted to hold her to him. He wanted to never leave her side.

"Well, I hope we can do this again soon. I had a really good time." Kirk heard the words leaving his lips and he couldn't stop them. That isn't what he had practised!

"Yeah, I had a great time too. I definitely think we should do this again." she watched him. He thought it was expectantly. Like she wanted him to kiss her.

Kirk patted Kate on the shoulder and walked her to her car. He wanted to shove her against the car and finally kiss her. She started to get into her car.

"I really did have a good time, don't be a stranger okay?" Kate looked up at him from the driver's seat.

"Yeah we definitely have to do this again." He turned around. He walked away. His whole body in turmoil. He heard her car start. He watched her pull out. He watched her drive away. He sat on the sidelines of his life and couldn't help but know this might have been his last chance and even if it wasn't would another chance make any difference.

Kirk drove home in silence. He went to bed in silence. He awoke to silence. He lived in silence. The world was a haze of disappointment and he wasn't even trying anymore. As he walked into the coffee shop he saw Kate sitting in the corner in front of her laptop. She was reading something and didn't seem to notice him coming in. He walked to the counter and ordered a black coffee to go. He didn't see the point in ordering anything fancy when he couldn't even taste it.

He waited at the counter and tried to not look at the corner. His back was to it as best he could. Until he felt a tap on his shoulder. Turning around Kate was right there. Right in front of him.

"You're so awkward." was all she said as she leaned forward and kissed him. His mind exploded into chaos. Heat spread through him like lightning and he woke up for the first time in days. His hands went around her and his lips opened to hers. He closed his eyes and felt everything. He could feel her sweated against his finger tips and he could feel her hot breath against his cheek. As they separated she looked at him again. "You better call me you idiot." She had her bag on her shoulder and walked out the door.